当2005年我开始研究并创作《东庄图》时，就有了一种“超越”的感受。我以为有意义的人生，在于获得了超越的意义，而这种意义是因为历史是有意义的，所以在历史中的人就有了超越的意义。
有时因为我们自身的原因，我们被历史遗忘在角落。此时，对我们而言历史好像不再具有价值和意义。我们会被私人叙事所渐渐地隐没，当可有可无的私人叙事碎片般地填充着“欢乐”的人生而无法寻求共识，无法在个人之上寻求“伟大而光辉的同一焦点”时，无意识地“去历史”的集体无意识，会使历史渐渐地隐没到宇宙的黑暗之中和人类的记忆之外。因为我们这种无意识，使我们在历史寻找我们时，我们却忘记了历史﹒﹒﹒﹒﹒﹒
事实上我们之所以能突破私人叙事的樊笼而获得超越的意义，是因为历史以伟岸的坚实富有了意义，于是在历史中我们有了超越的价值。所以我们无论在何时何地，都不应当忘却历史，我们在不忘却历史的氛围中，与时代同步。
当我们重温《五灯会元》中唐代青原惟信禅师的话时，就会有一种获得历史价值的感受。
青原惟信禅师一日谓众僧曰：“老僧三十年前未参禅时，见山是山，见水是水。及至后来，亲见知识，有个入处;见山不是山，见水不是水。而今得休歇处，依前见山只是山，见水只是水。”禅师然后发问：“大众，这三般见解，是同是别?
“是同是别?!”
而今我年过半百，得一须臾休歇处，以为：余出世有光刺眼，一十满足饥饿，二十懵懂有物，三十欲获情爱，四十方知左右，五十懂得上下。六十当晓前后，七十应念里外，八十体验有无，九十参透虚实，百岁顺入空灵。余将到那一阶段，身体力行那一格而为之，顺命哉。
八年的对《东庄图》的研究与创作，让懂得了历史中的画家与文化人对人与自然和谐共生的深刻认识的意义。因此上，我获得了人生超越。
SeekingMyWords
IhadastrongfeelingofsublimationwhenIstartedmyresearchandcreatedDongzhuangDrawingsin2005.Personally,Ibelievethemeaningofhuman’slifeisabouttheachievementofsublimation,whichthelogicisthathistoryhasitsownmeaning,therefore,wehumanareinthehistoryandwillsublimeit.
Wehumanareusuallydoomedtooblivionduetoourowncauses.Insuchasituation,itseemsthathistoryhasnomorevalueandmeaningforus.Asdispensableprivatenarrativelikedebrisfilledoutour“joyful”lifeandpeoplecannothavecommonviews;cannotbebeyondindividualexistencetofind“thegreatandbrilliantfocus”,ourcollectiveunconsciousnessofignoringhistorywillgraduallymakethehistoryfadedoutintotheeternityofdarknessandoutofhuman’smemories;wewillgraduallybeconcealedbysuchprivatenarrative.Owningtosuchunconsciousness,weforgetourownhistorywhenweareseekingourselvesinthehistory.
Infact,thereasonwecanbreakthroughthoseprivatenarrativesandgetthemeaningofsublimationliesonthemeaningofgreatandsolidhistory.Asaresult,wegetourvalueofsublimation.Therefore,nomatterwhenandwhere,weshouldnotforgetourhistoryandmeanwhilekeepourpacewiththetime.
AswereviewthewordsofChanmasterQingyuanWeixininTangDynastyfromWuDengHuiYuan(lit.CombinedSourcesfromtheFiveLamps),wecanobviouslyfeelthatweobtainahistoricalvalue.
OnedayChanmasterQingyuanWeixinsaidtothemonks:“beforeIdidnotstarttopracticeChanthirtyyearsago,whenIsawthemountainisthatmountain,thewateristhatwater.AfterIstartedtopracticeChan,gradually,learnedtheknowledgeandunderstoodsomething,thenthemountainisnotthemountainandthewaterisnotthewater.Atpresent,IfeltIcanretire,themountainisstillthemountain,andthewaterisstillthewater.”Thenmasterasked,“Everybodyisthereanydifferencesinthesethreesteps?”
Iamnowoverfiftyyearsoldandfinallycangettherestforawhile.Myunderstandingoflifeislikethat:IfeltsomehollylightsinspiredmewhenIwasborn,IfeltnomorehungrywhenIwasten;IfeltstillignorantbutstarttounderstandsomethingwhenIwastwenty;IfelttohavelovewhenIwasthirty;IknewrightandleftwhenIwasforty;IunderstoodhighandlowwhenIwasfifty;IwillknowfrontandbehindwhenIamsixty;IwillfeedthroughwhenIamseventy;IwillunderstandwhatisnothingnesswhenIameighty;IwillseethroughtheemptinesswhenIamninetyandIwillgotothehollysoulwhenIamonehundred.Currently,Iamonthecertainstage,IwilldomybestforwhatIcando,followmydestiny.
AftereightyearsresearchingDongzhuangDrawingsandmakingsomecreation,IunderstandthemeaningofharmonybetweenhumanandnaturefortraditionalChinesepaintersandliteratesinourhistory.Therefore,IfeelIgetmysublimation.